<p>Uncle Bobby’s Life Skills (Gone Wrong) is your laugh-out-loud guide to handling life the wrong way—on purpose. From “budget hacks” that could get you arrested to productivity tips that involve naps, this category delivers hilariously bad advice you shouldn’t follow… but probably will. Because life is hard. At least this makes it funny.</p>
Uncle Bobby says to shovel snow with a pool skimmer, wear bag-wrapped flip-flops as winter boots, and rely on the sun to fix frozen roads by lunchtime.
Combat the winter blues by embracing full-on hibernation: wear sweatpants nonstop, build a blanket fortress, and consider rage-baking croissants just for the chaos.
Skip the savings challenge, aim to afford a mediocre pizza by March, and celebrate quitting early with melted cheese and zero regrets.
Confidently skip all meaningful journaling by scribbling “It’s happening again” on a blank page so future readers think your life was a thrilling mystery.
Claim you’re a bookworm by stacking unread books on your coffee table and tagging it as inspiration for next year—no one needs to know the only thing you’ve finished is a shampoo label.
Pretend you're too enlightened to care, ghost everyone online, and let your silence haunt them into thinking you've achieved ultimate emotional superiority.
Forget kale and quinoa—Uncle Bobby says real meal prep is slicing up frozen pizza and portioning out brownies like a wellness guru in denial.
Forget decluttering — pile on the chaos with decorative pillows and call it “maximalism” while glorifying your eternal junk drawer.
Fake workouts with dramatic sighs, stretch like a sleepy cat in the corner, and master treadmill acting — Uncle Bobby says gym survival is all about looking sweaty without actually sweating.
Uncle Bobby swears you're winning 2025 if you count coffee as hydration, naps as productivity, and snack runs as exercise.
Declare victory over the year by chewing ice for hydration, counting lateness as cardio, and turning holiday cookies into a motivational strategy.
Redefine your lazy strolls as “pedestrian enlightenment,” count coffee as hydration, and remember—if your resolution’s vague enough, success is inevitable.