<p>Uncle Bobby’s Work Advice is the ultimate guide to surviving—and maybe even thriving—in the workplace. From cozying up to the boss to making career-limiting moves (for fun or profit), this is the kind of advice HR hopes you never follow. Whether you climb the ladder or slide down it, you’ll laugh the whole way.</p>
Welcome to the circus of Crypto Bonus Chaos, where your bonus is a magical shrinking act and stability is just a myth told by stockbrokers. Who needs a retirement plan when you have daily heart-pounding adrenaline rushes? Embrace the chaos, and maybe invest in archery lessons.
Always assume a house is lying to you like it's wearing Spanx, and never trust anything that smells like lavender and desperation.
Mute yourself in real life, nod like a bobblehead, and scribble nonsense while secretly doing your job behind the curtain of corporate theater.
Pretend to work by typing loudly, recycling last week’s to-do list, and faking focus like a seasoned beach-bound con artist.
Toss the packet, say a fake farewell, and claim your kid’s education now involves chasing lizards in the yard.
Uncle Bobby says Fridays in May require just one loud email, fake typing, and ghosting the office by 4 PM like it's a paid escape plan.
Skip the shop and baptize your engine with a jug of motor oil while muttering “good enough”—it’s faster, cheaper, and only mildly insane.
Go full martyr with flair: sign everything “on behalf of the silent majority,” watermark your work with shade, and replace your team's faces with stock photos.
Claim business deductions for Arby’s trips, pretend an audit is a dance, and remember: confidently rounding numbers is basically doing taxes.
Avoid Friday surprise tasks by faking meetings, pretending to cough up cruise ship germs, and loudly announcing you have to feed a diabetic ferret.
Refuse to work, blame jet lag even if you never traveled, and delete your to-do list like it’s a cursed scroll—because oozing back into reality is Bobby’s foolproof plan for post-vacation survival.
Skip all preparation and embrace chaos-driven wisdom—Uncle Bobby swears you’ll learn everything after you crash and burn.